Sunday, February 8, 2009

February

It's that month again, that month of love and remembering.

Since I will be traveling this year on Valentine's Day I won't get to speak with you or hold you, but I will in my mind. Time is funny, as it shifts its forms with regularity and it is hard to understand what makes something seem at one moment like it's further behind us, and then at another time, sear us with the physical sense of loss as if it has just happened. I have beautiful pictures of Mike (those Martha E. drawings) in two different places in the house, one by grandmom's hallway so she sees it every day as she wheels by, and one in the dining room so Mike is in there with us. They are Mike in his youthful prime, all hope and potential, all drive and observation. He's an angel in those drawings, full of health, strength and such solemn beauty. I can flash in an instant from those images back to the later Mike, with an oxygen tank as companion, a big ol' belly, and an ear to ear smile. It is interesting to think of Mike as so ponderous in his youth, and so joyful in his later years, even though death was waiting and he knew it. It really helps me to see how he recognized the true joys in his life, all of you, his work, his paying attention. It makes me think about what makes someone beautiful, or happy, or fulfilled.

I think Mike will be teaching all of us for a long time. I miss him so much, and sometimes have to remind myself that even though I've just thought to myself, "I want to give Mike a call" I have to catch myself. Now that's a LONG distance call. But I feel him around me so often, a gliding, glowing kind of presence, long streaming hand gestures that are like gentle comets.

I send everyone my love and hope that we can multiple the love of Valentine's Day this year.I wish we could all be together in person but our hearts will have to do.

Rosanne